Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
