It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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