I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
