Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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