All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
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