Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
