This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
