i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
