So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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