i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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