She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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