Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
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