Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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