So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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