I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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