So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I need a beard to bite.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
