I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
