we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
