there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
