Quick, to the slutcave!
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
