The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Another day, another engagement, another cat
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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