is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
