is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
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I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
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I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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