You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
you will always have a special place in my vag
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
