What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
soo... how was my night?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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