I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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