Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Randomize
