Where is the hickey?
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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