like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
