That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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