Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
