yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
don't judge my taste in strippers
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Randomize
