He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
