By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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