I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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