I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
