My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize