so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
