these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
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