you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
how does that bad decision feel?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
