worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
