the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
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