Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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