Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
