Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
