i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
