eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
