this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
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