hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Two words: blizzard sex
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
