Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
they need to just BURY HIM!
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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