Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
We got so high we made milksteak
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
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