you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
