you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
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