I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
