i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
