in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
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