Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
