but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
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