i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
