She said her name was "party"
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
